Something positive
Friday, July 28, 2006
I haven’t felt like writing this week. Most of my thoughts have been occupied with work and how it’s not very rewarding. Wednesday I went to an all-day seminar in LA and it was so boring. Some of the info was useful for what I do, but that in itself is not the most exciting thing. Then again, the most dry and technical subject can become fascinating if you somehow like it.
Where is the nerd in me? The one that liked Latin so much that I did independent study with the teacher the summer before senior year in high school so I could skip two levels and take AP Latin before I graduated? The one that learned Chinese lute after the normal instrument-learning age window had passed and got good enough to perform in front of hundreds of people? The one that read ten books over a summer and voluntarily wrote my own book reports?
Again, I blame it on law school. Just like it took away any desire to pursue outside interests, it has destroyed my love for learning.
Anyway, Dave challenged me to write about something positive this week. Well, the break in our usual weekday routine (I come home from work, we eat dinner together, watch TV, go to sleep) has allowed me to hit the gym twice, and even shop at Trader Joe’s by myself. That doesn’t sound like a big deal, but since I started work Dave does all the shopping and I don’t remember the last time I went to Costco or Target or other mainstays. So the “something positive” boils down to time to myself, I suppose. Seems kinda selfish.
independent study with the teacher the summer before senior year in high school so I could skip two levels
What?! Nerd!!!
read ten books over a summer and voluntarily wrote my own book reports
Uber-nerd!!!
I challenge your notion that selfish is a bad thing. Moreover, taking time for yourself is very constructive and rejuvenating.
So good job on being negative about your positive!
It’s not law school that sucked life out of you; you never had to go to law school. You made the choice to go to law school. You can take the agency to start making choices about who you are, what you want now and for the future—starting with thinking if it’s the firm itself (or whether it’s just premature culture shock being in the workplace again), firms generally, or law overall you don’t like and then figure an exit plan from there.
Chan, your entry resonates too well. But, I have to say, I agree with Mel that it ultimately isn’t law school.
These days, Amy is challenging me to change my own ingrained philosophy that everything I do must be practical, productive and for purpose. I’m so screwed by this challenge. How do we go back to just doing something because we enjoyed it without all the analysis, er, over analysis?
Who’s Mel?
I think you’re going about your issues the wrong way—too abstractly and not concretely. Instead of talking about “how do I develop interests?”, why don’t you ask yourself, “what book do I want to read now?” Just go to the bookstore! I recommend Life of Pi and Wicked if you want pointers. Or even more fun, if you like LOTR, get the book in Mandarin and read it in Chinese!
How about ordering The Aeneid, latin dictionary, and a notebook to diagram and translate lines.
Or joining a Mandarin meetup group to maintain your language skills?
And if you’re still interested in public defense or immigration, take a pro bono case or do something that will connect you with that world.
Do volunteer work or start a volunteer program with your church. What happened to the missionary spirit? Ask your pastor what you can do to be more involved in church?
You know what you like—and the world is right outside your doorstep. Indulge yourself in it and for god’s sake don’t be sorry for it!
M. – You’re right… Carpe diem, right? I already have in mind a list of books I want to tackle, and there’s always scrapbooking as a new hobby.
Nate – I think we gotta just do it. Don’t think too much, but do something for its own sake. Don’t think about why you’re doing it, but just know that you enjoy it and that’s enough in itself. I’m trying to put this into practice…
Get your craft on with the scrapbooking! I’m envious because you have disposable income so you can do it—sometimes it gets expensive with paper products! And those rounded edges, too.
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