Ah, weekends
Sunday, July 30, 2006
They’re never long enough. Saturday we slept in after a late Friday night hanging out with Sonai at, of all places, Life Plaza (an “Asian” hangout in Rowland Heights). Dave and I felt so nostalgic! We used to go all the time in college. I almost didn’t go because we didn’t head over there until 10:30pm and I usually try to be in bed by 11:00pm. In college I wouldn’t have batted an eye about going to Life Plaza at 12:00am or 1:00am. I’m glad I went, though. We split 10 fruit and fruit/jelly drinks among the 6 of us and talked and talked. Among the topics: an old movie about two ugly women, buying property, mothers-in-law, unsolicited family advice about going to law school, “they’re Chinese and that’s all you need to know,” planning the next Sonai activity.
Saturday: Spent a few hours running errands. I had fun going to Target, where I hadn’t shopped in weeks. Went crazy with Method products, a true testament to the power of design in influencing purchasing decisions. We got a corkboard from Costco, took apart the packaging to put it up, and I promptly stabbed myself with one of the thumbtacks. Since we were running out of rice, we made spaghetti and salad for dinner. Dave helped me because of my various hand injuries (the tack stabbing, a split fingertip from clumsy fruit-cutting, and a paper cut on my inner thumb joint). It was really nice and peaceful washing and cutting up veggies, stirring things, and bustling around each other in the kitchen. We barely spoke but we didn’t need to.
While out on our errands, Dave said he’d been thinking about an earlier conversation we had where I was lamenting the fact that I don’t feel like an expert at anything. He said he doesn’t think it’s right to expect to be an expert at something by virtue of having had schooling in that area, e.g. law school. So many skills are learned outside the classroom and can only really be learned on the job. I felt myself resisting this though I believe it’s true. Law school, where most classes are lecture format, encourages passive learning (sitting back, taking notes, and not really thinking for yourself). There are some practical skills classes and clinicals, but it’s not enough to prepare you fully for real practice. This disconnect between school and work is compounded by the fact that I like neat and controlled universes where I can learn everything I need to know from a book. Unfortunately, life is messy.
Sunday: Felt really convicted by some lessons at church. The concept of faith (the ability to believe in something intellectually) gets a lot of attention in teachings. But today the pastor focused on the other way that the word can be translated – “faithfulness,” having the attitude of a servant who does his/her duty and doesn’t expect or demand anything in return. In this culture of self-entitlement, that is a repulsive idea. I was repulsed when I heard it because it made me think of Asian parents who expect certain behavior and/or grades and take goodness and obedience for granted. Why shouldn’t I deserve praise whenever I sacrifice time and energy for God? But that’s exactly the wrong attitude.
The other thing I was convicted about was by a Sonai member’s testimony about being ready to die and meet God face to face. She got in a bad car accident three years ago where she broke her hip and had to get screws put in, stay in the hospital, and was on morphine because the pain was so bad. She thought she was going to die, and was scared to death because, while a believer, she didn’t feel ready to meet God because she had been so stressed in her life until the accident and had been mean and hurt a lot of people. The accident was a wakeup call. It made me think of my own highway accident several years back – I wasn’t hurt, but it could have been a lot worse. I admit, I don’t want to die a painful or brutal death, or leave behind my husband or future kids or other people who love me. But if my citizenship is in heaven, I should be eagerly anticipating King Jesus’ return.
This isn’t to say I should have no ambitions that could be characterized as worldly. I’m supposed to do my best at whatever task is before me, as working for the Lord, not for men (Col. 3:23).
Anyway, I really need to sleep…I’d rather not be a zombie at work tomorrow.